Why do I feel like shit after taking Ecstasy?

A wise man once said that it's because you've spent all your happiness in advance. Funny thing is, he's right. You've depleted all your seratonin, and now you are cracked out. Some folks say that taking 5-HTP helps. Personally, I reccomend that you treat yourself like bone china after taking MDMA. In specific:

• Get lots of sleep
• Eat healthy food, limit coffee, soda, sugar
• Get some exercise
• Avoid television (though movies are OK, such as the entire Lord of the Rings ultra-violent extended remix edition)
• Hang out with friends

And remember: When it's Tuesday and you are bursting into tears for no good reason, it's because you took Ecstasy at that party.

No, really.